Obasanjo vs The Awujale: I Stand by OBJ

Well, you may ask what concerns me as a full-blooded Akwa Ibom man in this matter. After all it is a battle between two well-fed people who do not really have any problem in life apart from writing books and calling each other rumour-monger and lair. Before I state my reason for supporting OBJ in this matter, let me give you guys a summary of the matter. You see, the Awujale had written a book and in that book he had said some things about OBJ regarding his relationship with his cousin Dr. Mike Adenuga. That one, person no dey ever see am. He wrote that book long time ago o and I guess OBj was on one of his numerous trips and as such never got around to reading it or maybe he was busy playing his favourite game of AYO so he missed it. But years later some busy body now decided to bring up that particular chapter where the Awujale had mentioned my lord in not very flattering manner and all hell broke loose. Names have been flying around and letters have been exchanging hands and everybody including Buhari has gone to hide all fearing stray bullet. But me, I will come out boldly and take a stance.
That is the problem with Nigerians; we do not take sides, we don’t stand by the truth and that is why injustice pervades our society. For me, I always stand by the truth no matter whose ox is gored. In this case, it is so easy for me to be impartial after all I am not an Egba or Ijebu. So let me give my reasons for supporting OBJ in this fight and asking the highly respected Awujale to immediately withdraw that book in circulation and send an unreserved apology to my Baba, copying the Secretary General of the United Nations so that I can go and see if I can beg Daddy to calm down for I hear he is really really upset. You see, between the two respected elders, it is only OBj who has fed me. I am sorry I do not know how to repay kindness with wickedness. Yes, I have eaten rice and chicken in OBJ’s house before in Abeokuta, it was not only me o, ask Wale Oluwo the Hon. Commissioner for Energy in Lagos, we were together as part of a team. He even ate two plates. So how do you eat in a man’s house and come out to stand against him in public. That is not how I was brought up o. So simply for that plate of rice, by OBJ I stand. My dear Awujale, I sincerely believe you were wrong on this matter and I will try my best to pacify my Oga after all have I eaten in your house before? Till then my dear Awujale just say sorry abeg. Teheeeeee
Pastor Adeboye: Demystified?
I am writing this in hiding. You see, the moment I saw that picture of Pastor Adeboye and the ‘great’ Ayo Fayose, I just knew that there was trouble for him on the horizon. First, Ekiti APC sent out a press release calling him all sorts of names I cannot repeat here and then last week he was ‘forced’ to retire from his lucrative position and promoted to a higher ( I suspect superfluous) position. Just as the Ekiti APC people were jubilating, the law on which his retirement was predicated upon was suspended and the henchman that ensured his enforcement was sacked. This drama remains quite exciting as a lot of commentaries have been going back and forth both for and against the issue of General Overseers remaining as powerful as they have been and much more important, holding the position for life. For me, the greatest loser in all of this is the highly respected GO himself, my father in the Lord Pastor Adeboye.
My wife has warned me not to write anything negative about Daddy GO and that the consequence would be dire if I tried it and that my fate would be worse than the man that was fired, hence my decision to treat this matter with kid gloves. But that said, the whole brouhaha has brought to the very fore the issue of structure, corporate governance, transparency in our huge churches. The issue becomes all the more volatile especially if you take into consideration the real fact that these churches control one of the largest concentrations of wealth and power outside the Federal Government, then you will begin to understand the real fear in allowing their concentration in the hands of just a few family members and cronies. The question that needs to be answered here is that, should one person be the spiritual head and also the business head? Should one person be the leader for life? What are the decision-making processes especially on the business side of the empire? I can understand why there should be no tenor limit on the spiritual side, but on the business side, should the case be the same? How are these businesses run? Who are the signatories? What are the succession plan initiatives put in place? Are they open and transparent and fair to all? Who gets the dividends from these enterprises? Those who pay tithes and make donations at the church level nko, shouldn’t they be shareholders of these businesses? After all, they must have contributed to their coming into existence. You know we like playing politics with everything in this country but the honest truth is that whether we like it or not, these questions sooner than later will be answered no matter how long we suspend the law or sack the people trying to enforce it. For me, I hold on to my tithe until such a time when tithers are given shares in the universities, private jet holding companies, banks and the numerous businesses these churches hold and control. For the lovable bowtie-wearing GO I say nobody can force the spirit-filled, Holy Ghost anointed man of God to retire, it is a position for life, but on the other side, the charities and all, I think just maybe at 75 it is time. Let’s just let it go Daddy. See you in the Bahamas.
Gabriel Ogbechie : A Missed Opportunity
It is with tears that I read the speech delivered by this my Oga at a gathering recently. He had been invited by one Magazine to deliver a lecture on how to start a business and he frankly took the audience down memory lane on how he sourced for his initial capital to build what is today one of the biggest and if not, best run oil and gas concerns in the country – Rainoil. When I finished reading the lecture, the lucidness of it all and the honesty touched me. I asked myself, so where is that saying lazy people use to keep justifying their laziness, when they say behind every wealth there is a bad story. This one, no bad story o. Well, to confirm what I read, you know with the way people transfer stories on social media, one has to be careful with what you read and believe. I carried myself to Gabu office for Oniru to ask him if what I read was true. He confirmed it and narrated the story of how he used to buy small small shares as a young man earning about N30,000 a month and when he could not get any investor to believe in his dream, he sold the shares to get his first N300,000 to start Rainoil. I immediately started crying and he was shocked, walked up to me to ask what the matter was. I could not be consoled o. I cried that he had to call his beautiful wife, Godrey, to come and see what the matter was. I held on to Godrey, you know she is my sister and kept crying until I became hysterical with Gabriel offering me a drink. Nothing but shares in Rainoil would stop me from crying o. You see my people, the day Gabriel was going to sell those shares I saw him o. I greeted him at Mobolaji Bank Anthony Way in Ikeja and he mentioned it to me. I had the money on me, I swear the money was in my pocket but I dodged. I was on the way to go buy a Tokunbo car. Today I for be oil billionaire looking at the Forbes list but na lie, the car sef don spoil under the Oshodi bridge. The lesson here my people, is never dodge a Delta man on his way to go sell his shares for you never can tell. Well, to my brother Gabriel, can’t you even pity your brother and issue some shares after all, the good book says we should all be our brother’s keeper? I remain hopeful.
Prince Adesegun Oniru : Nigerians Help Thank Am O
Ever since I started looking for sponsorship for my new play, Isale Eko, my friends have all deserted me. My phone call is now viewed worse than the dreaded Ebola virus. All of a sudden, nobody takes my calls again; the thing will just be ringing and ringing. Well, my young daughter now got me an appointment with this gentle prince who until recently was a commissioner in Lagos, and who has been amongst others, promoting privately everything Nigerian. He recently hosted a massive made-in-Nigeria fair. As I walked into his well-apportioned office I could feel his power and the scent of aristocracy all over him. His carriage weakened me and I started to stammer. He just looked at me with pitying eyes and said, ‘I will get back to you.’ I left his Oniru office downcast and my partner Nsebong Ekong realising the forlorn look started cheering me up and said I should not worry that we would raise the money even if it meant turning ourselves into slaves. Surprisingly, I got a call from the very beautiful Amara who happens to be Mrs. Nwadike’s lovely daughter, this girl – you should watch out for her, for she is planning something quite explosive in the real estate sector- that my cheque was ready. The prince had performed. Baba mi oshe gan ni. Ahhh, you will be mightily blessed by the Almighty. May the ocean not wash away your wealth; may you be the grandfather to the world. Ahhh, the Almighty will continue to sharpen your sword and give you untold blessings. This small fruit you have given me will germinate and bear you a forest of juicy fruits and may your enemies never see you again. Kai, I am so happy o. For the rest of you who are not taking my calls, I am compiling the names to submit to DSS for investigation. My prince may you live long.